


Just Look At Me The Same

by Kazier



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: AND I'M GAY, Adult Losers Club (IT), Alternate Universe - After College/University, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Canon - IT (Book/Movie/Miniseries Combination), Chaptered, Could tag a lot more, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Are Roommates, Eddie Kaspbrak Cheats on Myra Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier-centric, Flashbacks, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Might get kinky idk don't tell mom, Minor Character Death, Multi, Mutual Pining, NSFW, Porn With Plot, Pre-IT Chapter Two (2019), Reddie, Religious Guilt, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Switch Eddie Kaspbrak, Switch Richie Tozier, They love each other, everyone is 21+, mostly sfw, reddie au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:55:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kazier/pseuds/Kazier
Summary: “Hey, would it be weird time to visit you right now?”After grieving his mother's recent death, Eddie Kaspbrack moves out of New York to reunite with his childhood friend for support.Meanwhile, Richie Tozier finds himself in disbelief. The worst of sharing an apartment alongside Eddie could only be over-speculated by the man who had been silently crushing on him since childhood; he would have never imagined living with him. Not back then, not when Eddie at first told him via phone call that he was coming to visit.All these losers and Eddie chose him, the goddamn Beverly Hills Trashmouth.Sure, he missed the others more than he would ever admit out loud, but the idea of seeing Eddie again any time soon was a concept. Impossible sounding, really. For a guy that had a whatever the fuck job out in Queens, all the way across from California, he had no reason to travel so far. But lo and behold. There he was, standing at the airport terminal after Richie had agreed to pick him up. Several failed relationships later and hestillcouldn't get over Eddie. Was his sudden reappearance a grace or punishment?And now for the gayest tension you'll ever see!
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Beverly Marsh & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, The Losers Club/The Losers Club (IT)
Kudos: 4





	Just Look At Me The Same

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic in years! Please be nice 2 me. The NSFW isn’t gonna be here for awhile  
> I am also still contemplating the stripper part because it'll take a little to get there (but I have ideas).. that AU just makes me gay even though it's not even necessary or fitting SOBS.  
> 

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh lawd he comin’
> 
> Richie doesn’t know what the fuck is going on or how to be an adult but it’s ok

The Losers Club started to break apart after their Senior year of high school. Nothing about it was anyone's first choice, but as they say, it takes time apart to have someone remember just how much they miss what they used to have. In this case it was the severed bonds created by time alone, and god, did Richie miss his other half. And the five others following. Though, it stuck less the longer everyone was apart.

Upon beating the absolute hell out of an Eldritch shit-scram clown, it was safe to say that the group became too busy growing up to let their thoughts linger on that single year. _The_ _intense year_ that they most likely repressed for obvious reasons. Meaning, the seven of them continued on with their usual antics until college and career hauled each off into their own world so they could more or less move on from the small town blues. All except Mike Hanlon, who stayed behind in Derry and later became a librarian in that ancient book barn.

Alas, it seemed like everyone has own place! A less fucked up, traumatic one that is.

At about age 22, each of the club members had something going on if their lives. Some were married by then or dating, too.

Beverly Marsh became a fashion designer living in Chicago. That’s cool.

Bill Denbrough unsurprisingly earned his title as an up and coming author living in the UK _._

Eddie Kaspbrack was doing _something_ in New York. One could recall mentions about a Risk Analyst. What the hell was a risk analyst?

Stanley Uris got a job in accounting in Atlanta.

Last anyone heard, Ben Hanscom moved to Nebraska and became an architect.

And then there was Richard Fucking Tozier, who failed in launching his career as a stand up comedian and later became a Radio Disk Jockey in attempts to bounce back from what many would deem an embarrassment. Everyone starts somewhere, he guessed. Hold your applause.

Don’t get him wrong, people certainly didn’t mind Rich “Records”. They admired him, even. He acquired a small sort of fan base during his short time on air, his shifts only lasting about five hours a day. Three years later and Beverly Hills radio wasn't the same without Tozier’s familiar banter. They liked his witty jokes, his ridiculous (but lovable nonetheless) impressions, and the way he kept listeners engaged in between the music and commercials.

But this wasn’t about his amazing job being a DJ. And also, it just wasn’t something that truly made him happy.

It was silly of him to think things could be any other way- dreams often don't become reality, he was well aware. But still. He wanted something different, to be seen in another light. He wanted—

Eddie. The familiar buzz from his phone woke him from his morning daze, the kind where he sat laying in idle thought until his alarm came back for the fourth or fifth snooze that morning. He blindly reached out to his nightstand, fumbling to grab and put on his glasses so he could read the notification. He was surprised to find an unexpected text from the infamous ‘Eddie Spaghetti’ in his contacts, whose last message was from over a month ago. He came off having this intent that Richie couldn’t quite place.

“Hey, would it be weird time to visit you right now?”

Richie squinted at the message. He briefly thought of this being some kind of scam, or that maybe he was still asleep. There was no way, after all. Just let him run that back a few more times in his head so he could torture himself with a strange mix of confusion as well as excitement. Excited, why? Because this was his lover boy and he couldn’t hold the attention of one guy for more than one night, and he didn’t want to.

Mental rambling aside, he answered lightheartedly. ”Of course it would be weird Eds. It’s 8 in the morning.” The absolute bastard.

He placed his phone down and decided to get out of bed after sending that text. During this time an easily frustrated Eddie groaned at Richie’s reply- the nickname _and_ the joke- and covered his face in a way that said ‘Why do I even bother with this guy.’ If a conversation was what he wanted, he figured out his best option.

It wasn’t until Richie got out of the shower that he heard the buzzing again, this time nagging him to answer a call in which he delivered teasingly. “Someone misses me.” His voice mocked Eddie for his persistence.

”I’m serious, Richie.” A quiet, defeated sounding voice came from the other side of the line, making Richie immediately feel guilt for humoring him so soon. Times like this made him wish he had a filter.

Eddie sounded tired. Unusual for someone who was always a huge hypochondriac, despite his efforts to let go of that part of himself. He couldn’t go one night missing a ‘healthy amount of rest’ in fear of getting sick, it’s been that way since their childhood together. Yet there he was, acting in a way Richie wasn’t used to.

Keeping it all in mind, Richie spoke with bit more sensitivity. “Hey, hey. I’m sorry. What happened?” He felt all awkward now, putting the phone on speaker so that he could attempt to tug on his clothes while the other gave his reply. Naturally, he wasn't great at holding it together in such serious situations. Eddie knew this.

”Well.” there was a pause, and suddenly Eddie sounded a bit more held together than before. “I’ll tell you later, but I wanna come to California for a little bit. If you're not busy– it could be fun.” A bit of hesitation. “Call it a vacation or whatever. It’s summer you know.” He added, smiling despite the fact that the gesture wouldn't be seen by Richie. Hearing his voice was the best thing to happen to him in a long while, much to his surprise, but he was in no mood to take this new feeling to heart. Hearing Richie Tozier’s voice made him feel happy, big deal. He still had a relationship with Myra to take care of. Plus, he was ALSO talking to Mike not too long before this and felt the same happiness, right? Case closed! He just missed his friends.

Or maybe he was too absorbed reminiscing on the past, with the way things were when they were happy together in one place. At the quarry or loitering around Freese’s department store. It was summer and he was forced to revisit his childhood home in Derry to figure things out since his mother passed.

Maybe.. it was time to get out of Queens, New York and its ~~in his opinion, lack of~~ charms. The place he once dreamed of moving to was now a nightmare for reasons he didn't care to explain. But his wife.. could he seriously forget her?

The answer unfortunately was yes. From the start of their relationship he had ambivalent feelings about Myra that never left him alone. He wondered if it was love or just the comfort of familiarity that drew him in or something similar. Too often would he be able to compare her to his own mother both in personality and looks, that on its own being completely and utterly disturbing. They dated a year before getting married, and the only thing they really had in common was the shared love for the singer Barry Manilow (they owned all of his albums). She was accompanying him in Derry for the time, but he couldn't help but think of anyone else. He felt as if he was being selfish, he really did.

"No fucking way..."

Richie was caught off guard at first. By Eddie, his midsummer night's dream. The man he wanted to grow old with but feared rejection similar to the kind he had in that arcade many years ago. Back in Derry with Henry Bower's cousin, ugh. His love - his _dirty little secret._. requesting something so out of character and honestly insane. There was a stretch of silence, and then some laughter that made Eddie glare. They weren't kids anymore, it wasn't that easy to just step away from responsibility so why... what? “No way!” He repeated, playfully. “Eddie Kaspbrack enjoys having fun now?"

Richie's laughter had Eddie snapping out of his rushing thoughts in no time, making him question distantly. "What?"

"Save it for our honeymoon, sweetheart." Richie brushed him off, snickering, "I mean, really. What's got you romancing me all of the sudden anyways? Don't tell me you've been dropping tabs or some shit." A joke, but still. Since when did Eddie Kaspbrack take it easy, let alone dare to be so bold? It had to be some sort of life crisis, or like, actual drugs.

"What, no! Shut up." That's more like it. "I want to see my friend, is that too much to ask?"

"Jesuus, relax Eddie. I’m just saying, it’s sorta weirddd that you’re not inviting, I dunno, Beverly or Mike or something.” He mumbled, noticing that he was rambling. “Of course you can come over, I’m not stopping you. What’s the occasion?" He prodded again and was left in the dark.

"I told you, I'll let you know when I see you." A feminine voice could be heard in the background, and in a more rushed tone he continued. “I um, I have to go," The line was cut off before Richie could reply.

What the fuck.

* * *

"Are you sure about leaving? I mean, what about your job? And um.. Myra?" Mike turned his head to face Eddie, his expression bemused and twisted in concern as he finished wiping down one of the many bookcases he was left to manage.

Being the only one in Derry meant he was the first to know about Sonia, Eddie's mother. A heart attack in her 60s, though neither of the two were particularly surprised or personally sad about it. As messed up as that was, Eddie could only find himself depressed at the idea of losing someone close than directly facing the fact that it was his own mom. Because she _was_ emotionally abusive until the end _and_ controlling and continued to pester Eddie, even when he moved to Queens to escape. And how could he ever escape if not for instantly finding a copy of her in Myra.

Its why he never felt as if he could get a break became so unhappy in turn. It was terrifying... and not that the absence of his mother wasn't _not_ scarring in its own way, because it was. If that made any sense. Between Eddie and Mike, they would accept any kind of reaction to be reasonable.

Of course, Eddie wasn't going to let the grief consume his everyday life. What he felt was shock, for the most part. He sat at one of the deserted tables and echoed. "What _about_ my job? I only became a 'Risk Analyst' because mom-.. I mean, Myra convinced me that it was the safest option," he sneered, his face becoming red from accidentally mixing up the two. Then, instinctively he softened his expression by frowning. He wasn’t angry at the job or his wife, he remembered. Apologetically, he mumbled, “I can handle it, really. Sonia's sister is helping me manage everything, so once that's done I have enough to get out of the city. _California is way cheaper anyways_." His contemptuous behavior was easily dulled down by his usual, meek personality. His temper was short, but he couldn’t be bothered to stay angry at what he had no say in. Not at the moment. "I'll figure things out with the missus, don't worry."

The missus? So formal. A small chuckle from Mike pardoned Eddie’s high-strung behavior, though the hint at the other getting a divorce did make him raise a brow. He tucked the dust-covered rag into the front pocket of his jeans so that he could confidently rest both of his hands on his hips. "I gotcha, Eddie. I just wanna make sure you’re okay, okay? Just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.” His smile beamed for the both of them, to make up for Edward’s soured look. In the short time he had to meet Myra Kaspbrack and see the pained look on his friend's face, he could tell the decision wasn't just made on the whim. Their relationship was off. Either way, it wasn't any of his business.

”Okay. Thank you.” Eddie sighed, grateful to be in the company of someone who understood him. A small smile followed, and the two resumed a more normal conversation in lieu of sulking around all night.

Soon New York would have no business with Eddie Kaspbrack in it, and he was set on keeping it like that. He was ready to start anew. Away from risk analyst and closer to something better for him. A stable job away from. From analyzing, he guessed. He was likely going to wing most of his plan.

By the time the two were finished talking, the sun was long retired below the horizon. Eddie glanced off into the blackness outside of the library, then once more to his night’s confidant. “Hey, Mike? I’d like to call in that favor.” He rubbed at his neck, awkwardly looking off to the side.

”Yeah?” Mike’s relaxed demeanor became puzzled once he saw Eddie step towards him amidst open arms, but in a moment’s silence he accepted the loose hug with a sigh.

“It was good seeing you again.”

This was a week prior to his chat with Richie.

**Author's Note:**

> I almost combined three chaotic and predictable holy trinity of AU's - the college AU - the stripper AU - literally any other overused AU... as you can see I have landed somewhere in the middle of it all sooo hopefully that works out.  
> but HEY I'm not an avid fic reader/writer and so imma do what I can with what I want, enjoy!  
>   
> Feel free to comment and or suggest things... I will literally take ideas and love you for it, I'm just writing this to pass the time anyways.  
> but i swear if I go far enough to write to the point of Chapter Two I will cry JUST SAYIN


End file.
